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World domination through humor since 1979


Q: How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll in a Tootsie Roll pop?
A: Depends on how the woman looks.

When I woke up this morning I couldn't see, it felt like hair was all over my face, a fowl odor and wet Q-tip touching my lips. And then the dog jumped off my face.

What are two things you don't want hot?
A pregnant woman in 90 degree heat and a hot dog (you don't get it) a hot dog (you still don't get it) a hot dog!....(a hot dog might end up on your face in the morning!)

Love is...having a hand that will never let you down.

People cry when they're in love and break up. You cry when you lose your hands because your lonely nights will be empty.

A woman is like a warm hand.

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est. 8.17.00 :: update 8.17.00 :: IE 4+